An update so short it sucks.
Mike Walter Mike Walter

An update so short it sucks.

I am horrible at self-promotion. There was one time at a Junior High dance when I tried to promote my fashion sense by shaving groove marks into my right eyebrow. This was 1993, so I really couldn’t tell you where the inspiration came from, but it was there alright.

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Justice Denied!
Logan Netzer Logan Netzer

Justice Denied!

Facts don’t care about your feelings!

Trump’s lawyers really dropped the ball on this one. Truly a travesty of justice.

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Dog Gone Kristi Noem
Logan Netzer Logan Netzer

Dog Gone Kristi Noem

She shot a one-year-old dog in the face because she said it was untrainable and that it bit a few things…which dogs do when they are young and untrained…they bite things.

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Ya learn somethin' stupid every day.
Larry Revoir Larry Revoir

Ya learn somethin' stupid every day.

How is it that we can be so confused by the post-structuralist notion that “nothing means anything” while at the same time insisting that what they–whoever “they” are–must certainly be using the “OK” hand gesture as an Alt-Right Neo-Nazi Bird-Call… Or Dog-Whistle, or what the fuck ever?

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DikDok
Logan Netzer Logan Netzer

DikDok

So, as it began, I am in the exact same spot as I was in the beginning, but as it ends, I am able to keep my slightly above-average penis as decoration, no rat bites or nothing.

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Non-Sequiturs and Pain
Logan Netzer Logan Netzer

Non-Sequiturs and Pain

Love is a fucked-up abomination to a strict philosophical naturalism. Loss is the bitter correction that makes the aforementioned statement forgettable.

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Quit playing games with my heart attack.
Mike Walter Mike Walter

Quit playing games with my heart attack.

First, the panic sets in. Then, the chest pain continues to grow. Suddenly, a sweat breaks out (another symptom of a heart attack), and everything that happens next is a blur.

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