Dog Gone Kristi Noem
Earlier this week, we learned that the obnoxious far-right governor of South Dakota had destroyed her chances at being the main contender for the prestigious position of ass-kissing sycophantic vice president to the one true lord and savior, Donald Trump. As shocking as it may be, Kristi Noem has revealed that behind her well-crafted charade of being a two-faced, hypocritical piece of shit lies the dark truth that she is also an evil heartless two-faced, hypocritical piece of shit.
Noem is no stranger to doing shitty things; whether it’s cheating on her husband or getting banned from countless Native American reservations for saying a bunch of ridiculous racist shit, Noem has done it all. She’s even enhanced her resume by bizarrely doing infomercials for a random dentist in Texas to promote cosmetic procedures. These questionable acts of hypocrisy, xenophobia/bigotry/condemnation, and being a crappy weird shill are commendable attributes of politicians. But this becomes exponentially truer, perhaps to the level of the greatest truth of all, when combined with an unwavering fealty to the soon-to-be king of the USA, Big Daddy Trump. Noem would have had it all if her stupid dog’s face wouldn’t have been blown up by a shotgun that she herself fired.
She shot a one-year-old dog in the face because she said it was untrainable and that it bit a few things…which dogs do when they are young and untrained…they bite things. That’s why you train them and not shoot them. But not only did she shoot her dog and leave it in a ditch, she refused to concede that it was a fucked-up thing to do and tried to justify it. There are a lot of strong variables for predicting who is a piece of shit, but shooting your puppy and leaving its body in a ditch and then bragging about it, and then arguing that you were in the right is probably the single easiest marker to identify someone being the worst type of piece of shit.
At least the dog was able to escape a terrible life of being beaten and neglected by the vain Kristi De Vil. May its sweet soul rest in peace. I will say, though, that it is satisfying to see a right-wing automaton lose control of her political future because she is so disconnected from reality that she would consider shooting a dog in the face would be something to brag about.
